Simply Home Remedies

Natural Remedies for ADD & ADHD Part 3:Loose Lips Sink Ships

by Marye Audet on August 22nd, 2008

I love World War II posters,  sorry, I couldn’t resist.

One of the scripture verses that my children learn because they hear it so much is this:

The power of life and death is in the tongue…. (Proverbs 18:21)

I grew up in a very verbally difficult household.  One of my parents had experienced much abuse and, while i knew I was loved, my nicknames were things like:delinquent, incorrigible brat, and self centered snot.

I learned to overcome this, and while we are not perfect the words that happen in our house are chosen carefully for the fruit that they bear.

Lets say that you tell your child to clean the toys up in the den.  Twenty minutes later you see that they have cleaned up the legos but the nerf ammo is scattered everywhere because they got distracted by shooting flies on the wall.  Not that this has ever happened here….

You can get mad, ‘I told you to clean up this mess! You disobeyed me!”

Or you can say, “Wow! Great job on the legos.  Let’s see how fast we can get the nerf ammo put away.” And then help them.

I have found that any child will respond to verbal stimulus, whether for the positive or negative. In fact, I have found that husbands also respond to the same things.

I also have a sneaking hunch that my thighs are heavy because when I was a size 6 I complained about my fat thighs.  I can’t prove it, mind you, but the  thought is there.

ADD and ADHD are frustrating things.  It is easy to talk our kids down because of the issues and it is easy to talk ourselves down for the same reasons.

I am so stupid

I can’t do anything right

Where is my brain?

I have no brain

I am not smart

And on and on and on…….

We can change those tapes in our heads, and in our mouths by taking a moment to think before we speak.  A child who is cheered because he completes four math problems correctly will strive to complete five correctly the next time.

Encouragement goes a long way.  So does kindness.

Marc and I both have rather unique IQs.  We are both linguists, and therefore both love words.  One of the things we have had to watch in ourselves is our tendency to practice the fine art of sarcasm. Is it funny? Yes.  Is it hurtful? YES!  Is it worth it? Nope.

This is especially true for ADD/ADHD children. I have rarely met the ADD/ADHD child that is not gifted.  That very giftedness makes the problem MORE frustrating.  They catch nuances in tone of voice, they read eyes and faces, they are expert at seeing what you are thinking.  Sarcasm will not go over their heads..it will lodge forever in their hearts.

If you have trouble seeing your child’s strengths make a list.  Remind yourself of them.  FOCUS on  them.  Teach him to focus on them.

I have a few abilities.  I can cook well.  I write well. I am an artist. I write poetry. I am good with languages.  I am compassionate.  I am generous. I am adventurous.
I cannot  carry a tune to save my life.  I can pick out songs on the piano,  I can play a few basic songs on the alto recorder but I am not musical.  Every one of my kids takes after Marc and has musical ability. Guitars, Bass, Piano,Drums, Voice, Clarinet, Sound technology…We could be the  Partridge Family.   If I focused on my inability to create pleasant sounds then I would be frustrated all the time.  Instead I tell everyone that I am the audience, every one needs one, right? And I cheer them on in their musical talent.

If you or your child begins to focus on the things that you cannot accomplish rather than the things you can you will find that you are able to do even less because you will lose heart.

Make a list.  Read it out loud to yourself in the  mirror for ten days.  Make it a habit to touch your child, look into his eyes and tell him something he does well at least twice a day.  Plan to take frustrating moments and turn them into moments of blessing.

You can do it…I know you can.

Image:Morguefile 

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POSTED IN: Kids